In the first blog on change, we discussed evaluating your environment. In part two we will discuss assessing your relationships with your coworkers, partner, children, or students. When we make a change, those big changes will have an effect on your relationships. This can be great…..new experiences, new challenges, new interactions, etc. However, we need to think about these changes from the perspective of the relationships.
Relationships do not happen in a vacuum. If your child, partner, coworkers, and/or students are used to their routines and your routines, how do you think they will respond to your change? They may be resistant to the change because they too obtain things or get out of things from their structure and the way you have behaved in the past.
When we make a change in our behavior, this has a ripple effect on our relationships. The effect does not have to be “negative” but it does mean different. Our children, partner, and/or coworkers expect you to respond and behave in predictable ways.
In addition, if your coworkers, children, and/or partner are expecting you to something first they then know how to respond. You set the occasion and tone for how others respond to you. If you change your behavior, conversations, routine, they may not always know what is expected of them.
If those around you are potentially resistant to the change, you need to consider why? What is it about the change that will disrupt the current state of affairs? Will your interactions change? Will your attention to them change? Will you be introducing new aspects to their routine or structure that they are unfamiliar or novel to them? Are those individuals unsupportive of the change because it requires too much effort? Are they resistant because the individuals may not be getting the same attention or what they prefer? Take a moment and consider that the change is not culprit but it is the reaction to the change that has everyone in a tizzy.
Let me know what you think about evaluating your relationships to support your change! Check back for part 3!